Caribbean Cruise Time
Notes On A Cruise
This is our fourth Smooth Jazz Cruise and as always, this trip is all about the music, and less about what islands we happen to visit. Holland America does a good job and we've been blessed with one of the Veranda Suites on our last three cruises, which makes all the difference. It's big and comfortable, with a huge double outdoor terrace and a nice size living room area. Plus it has tons of closets and drawers, a tub, shower, double sinks and make-up vanity area.
We also get to use the concierge level Neptune Lounge, which is wonderful for breakfast, snacks, newspaper reading, computer access--away from the maddening crowd of 1800 passengers!
And before we board the ship, we make an all-important stop at Total Wines, the best chain of wine superstores we've ever seen. We purchased nine bottles of excellent wines of various types and succeeded in stashing them into various corners of our hand-carried bags. We don't put the wine into our regular suitcases that get loaded by the dock stevedores; we tried that one year and had several smashed! But amazing that Holland America is the last and only cruise line that we know of that lets you bring your own wine aboard!
SUNDAY, JAN. 23, 2011 - Cool with Clouds
After many such cruises, we discovered that getting on the ship later is better than earlier. Tons of people want to get on board early, I guess for a free lunch. But if you arrive at about 2 or 3 pm, instead of 11 when the ship starts boarding, it's much more civilized!
Smooth, easy embarkation, unpacking and enjoying the complimentary bottle of Champagne in our suite, followed by a jump right into the first music of the trip--our 6:30 pm early jazz show featuring vocalist Brian McKnight and sax man Richard Elliot.
At about 5:30 pm it was time for our "stand-in-line" ritual. I go first, with a glass of wine in hand and get in the line for our early concert show which was scheduled for 6:30 the first night. Ronna joins me at about a half hour later with wine reinforcements. We meet lots of interesting people while waiting in line. By being among the first to enter the big showroom that seats 900, we get to choose the best seats. Although most rush for the front row, we prefer the Vegas lounge-like seats a bit further back that are on risers so we can see over the 12 rows of seats on the main floor. We also like the aisle seats, where there is a little table to put your wine glasses and escape as needed. Doors open up 20 minutes before Showtime.
We had never seen Brian McKnight before, a tall, handsome and gifted R&B vocalist, age 41. His set was a "one-man show" retrospective of how he got into the music business. It started cleverly with lots of cool versions of him imitating his formative idols, like Stevie Wonder, Michael Jackson, etc. Unfortunately, this shtick got old pretty fast. Halfway thru his set, we were ready for some back-up musicians and up-tempo R&B! He's a great pianist, guitarist and singer, but clearly taken with himself and his abilities. We were glad his set ended when it did.
A sax player we have seen at least 10 times before, Richard Elliot, age 51, was up next. He's an amazing musical virtuoso, a former member of Tower of Power, but unfortunately the last few times we’ve seen him play, he's been stuck in the rut of playing very lengthy versions of his songs, with extraordinarily long, self-indulgent solos, where he tries to impress you with his breath and control. He only played 6 tunes during an hour, because each song was at least 10 minutes long. He also plays many of the same tunes at every performance. When he played "Someday Over the Rainbow" (again) I had to take a long bathroom break and left poor Ronna sitting there...got in a bit of trouble with that! Anyway, the crowd loves his ego-maniacal approach; we just think it's a bit tiresome, if you've seen him as much as we have. But better sets were ahead, we figured. He’s great in small doses, and he would predictably join many other artists in later nights to add sax power.
We then went to dinner and found out that we had "open seating," which meant no assigned table. That turned out to be a bit of a problem, since there were no tables for two visible, and most of the rest of the tables were filled with people who knew each other and had gotten advance seating assignments. After I had a bit of a snit, the Captain found us a good table for two, which we can have for the duration of the cruise. Dinner was adequate, but not fabulous. We passed on the "late" show that featured Nina Simone's daughter, "Simone." Time for sleeping.
MONDAY, JAN. 24, 2011 - Partly Sunny
The ports don't matter much as we've said, but it was strange that we docked in Nassau at about 8 am and pulled out at exactly 12:30 pm. We slept in and didn't get up until 9:30. By the time we had coffee and some breakfast, it was too late to go ashore. Not a big deal, but strange we were in the Bahamas for such a short time.
We enjoyed a very excellent lunch in the ship's Pinnacle Grill, a separate small restaurant that you have to pay a bit extra for. Lunch there is $10, but well worth it. Pretty surroundings, great service and fine food. We then spent the rest of the afternoon relaxing and reading.
This second night of performances was headlined by Rick Braun and George Duke. I have to tell you Mr. Duke is not our favorite performer. He wrote and produced four decades worth of great music, but he still thinks he can sing, and this is not the case. He had four great back-up singers to cover for him, and the superb house band behind him, but it was pretty pathetic! He also likes to ad lib tunes, which throws off the house back-up band. It turns into a very sloppy show.
The good news was that Duke was on SECOND. Opening this evening's show was one of our favorites, Rick Braun, age 55. We were so happy about the order of the acts, because that meant we could leave Duke's show early!
Braun's set was sparkling, filled with lots of songs and tons of guest stars, including guitarist Jeff Golub, Richard Elliot, guitarist/vocalist Jonathan Butler, plus Tom Braxton on sax and Patches Stewart on second trumpet. It all made for a huge big-band sound, with Braun doing all his great memorable hits. He usually ends with "Grazin' in the Grass" (which we're bored with), but this time he played it but it was not the final song. For his finale, he brought out the lead singer of Tower of Power, Larry Braggs, and the big band, plus all the drop-in players joined in for "What Is Hip?" one of TOP's biggest hits. Great finish to a show-stopping set.
We then listened to a few bad vocals from Duke, age 65, and went back to our room prior to dinner.
This ship has a new alternative dining area--Canaletto. They have cordoned off a section of the Lido Buffet Restaurant area on the 9th deck and made it into a very nice little Italian restaurant. We enjoyed a salad, Penne ala Vodka pasta course, a meat entree, and dessert. We brought our own wine and other than $15 for corkage, all the food was complimentary--no extra charge like the Pinnacle Grill.
After dinner we went straight to the Queens Lounge, a small almost "in-the-round" venue where sitting in the first row of seats puts you about 2 feet from the musicians! We came to see Philippe Saisse--an amazingly-talented French keyboard artist who was a session musician for the likes of David Bowie, Chaka Khan, Al Jarreau, The Rolling Stones and others, before becoming a recording artist in his own right. He has had about a half dozen pretty big smooth jazz hits, we have all his CD's and he's one of our favorites, because he’s good and shows practically no ego. We saw him two or three years ago on another Smooth Jazz Cruise. He did not disappoint, tonight! At 10:30 pm he came on stage and played three of his biggest hits, "Do It Again," "Lady Madonna," and "September." Then he brought out Rick Braun who did the title tune from his new album, "All It Takes," which is a beautiful ballad written and produced by Saisse. Another bit of trivia: It's actually Sir Philippe Saisse. He was recently "knighted" by the French government. I didn't even know France still had royalty! I thought they all ended up at the guillotine! Anyway, next up to join Saisse was Jeff Golub, who played another tune written and produced by Saisse. It all ended at about midnight... so up close and personal... the best venue on the ship in our mind, as long as you get there early!
By now it was bedtime after a big day of fun and music!
TUESDAY, JAN. 25, 2011 - Cloudy and Gray, With Rough Seas
We slept in after not getting a great night's sleep. I think the waiter at Canaletto gave us high-test instead of decaf! That plus the fact that we have hit amazingly rough seas. I can't remember the Caribbean ever being this choppy. We felt several times during the night like we would fall out of our beds! Where are those seat belts? We had coffee and cereal brought to our cabin, and then at 1 pm had a "masses" lunch in the Lido Buffet. Unremarkable, but filling. Actually seeing Candy Dulfer up close in the buffet line was better than the food. A very pretty Dutch blonde sax player with a sexy overbite! Most people are at the embarrassing "autograph session" right now, getting their tacky posters signed by all the artists. We opted to just enjoy our suite and read our books. (I'm already into my second James Patterson novel on my iPad! And Ronna's staying with a music theme by reading Keith Richard's book "Life" about the Stones.)
Ronna and I prepped for dinner and our "stand-in line" ritual, tonight with Chalk Hill Chardonnay the beverage of the early evening. They let us in earlier than normal, and we got aisle seats next to a fun couple from Monterey, CA. Tonight's artists were a guitar player named Norman Brown, and the sax player who really started the whole Smooth Jazz genre, David Sanborn. Both shows were amazing!
Brown, age 47, is a very modest but ingratiating gent who looks about 10 years younger than his actual age. His 19-year old daughter sang back up with the house band for Brown. He's a Grammy winning artist, telling a funny story about attending the Grammy ceremonies with everyone telling him it takes 10 or 15 nominations before you really get to win. He won on his first nomination, to many artists chagrin! He has a boat load of smooth jazz "hits" and played them faithfully with a minimum of over-long solos. Leading his band was an attractive female keyboard artist name Gail Jhonson (not a typo) who ran the band with authority. It was a top-notch set and we spent most of the hour dancing with our new friend Erma from Monterey.
Next up was David Sanborn, 65, who we saw years and years ago. His hair is full grey now and he looks like the sax player emeritus of the format. We weren't sure what to expect, but he made his set a real party batch of tunes with the help of plenty of extra artists, including music's No. 1 electric bass player, Marcus Miller. The running gag from Sanborn was the fact that Marcus Miller wrote practically every song he played during the set, until he finally said, "I think this is one song Marcus DID NOT write!" Another highlight was a "bass battle" between Marcus and our other favorite bass player, Andre Berry. Andre is this gorgeous African-American stud that Ronna has always had secret fantasies about! Or maybe he's in my fantasies! Anyway, it was amazing to see these two bass players try to top each other with mind-boggling string slapping and finger work! We were on our feet dancing and bouncing for almost the full hour! We didn't even notice how rough the seas were! Very fun!
We had our new "assigned" table No. 10 for dinner in the Vista Dining Room, and as we were finishing our meal, several of the artists we saw during the show were leaving their designated eating area in the back of the second floor of the big dining room. Guitar player Jeff Golub stopped by and we shared the fact with him that we had two daughters living in Brooklyn. Jeff is one of the few musicians on the ship who lives in New York. Most of the rest reside in LA. Next Norman Brown and his daughter stopped by our table and we complimented him way too much about his "best of show" set! He loved our B.S. and was most appreciative when we complimented his daughter on her vocal skills! She's graduating this year from Berklee School of Music, Boston. Brown told us he has six kids, but only one musically gifted.
It turned out Norman Brown's keyboardist and band-leader Gail Jhonson was playing on her own in the Piano Bar. So we caught her show after dinner, and it was very impressive, although it would have been great to hear her with a back-up band, instead of just solo piano tunes. She has several very impressive CD's out, but she needs the drums, bass and guitar backing.
Past midnight now, so we called it a night... a very fun one.
WEDNESDAY, JAN. 26, 2011 - St. Thomas... Sunny with Boney on the Horizon
We awoke to a pretty view of part of St. Thomas harbor. Our ship is docked right next to the annoying Allure of the Seas, one of those absurdly-huge super-ships that holds more than 6,000 passengers. It has 18 decks (to our 10) and looks like a floating skyscraper when you stand on the dock next to it. The dumb thing has been following us for the whole trip! Or perhaps we were following the Allure! Ronna says the reason the seas have been so rough is because we are probably cruising in Allure's wake! Anyway, having the Allure's 6,000 passengers, plus four more cruise ships here in St. Thomas at the same time is ridiculous! We went ashore about 11 am to find hoards of people everywhere. The 25-person jitney cab-trucks were filled to capacity, with lines everywhere at our port, thanks to the Allure.
Downtown it wasn't much better. You could barely get by gawking tourists on the narrow sidewalks. We checked out many shops selling primarily diamonds and jewelry... there must be 200 on the main drag all selling pretty much the same stuff. Ronna wasn't in a buying mode, so we walked until we found a pretty cool little restaurant and bar called Coconuts, where we had a pleasant-enough lunch. A bit more shopping--er actually looking--in the 80 degree sunshine, and it was time for a return to our air-conditioned ship.
It's now almost show time again... with Boney James headlining the show and guitarist Jeff Golub opening for him. Boney is boarding the ship here in St. Thomas and will be leaving us right after his second show. (I think he might have a problem with sea sickness!) That's why we are in St. Thomas until midnight tonight. He is another of our favorites, because he DOESN'T do self-indulgent solos!
And tonight's show did not disappoint... Jeff Golub, age 54, the blonde surfer-dude guitar master did a tight set of songs from his vast library of hits. This is a good time to remind everyone that the name "Smooth Jazz Cruise," as we've said before, is really a misnomer. There's very little "smooth" about the performances and the shows. It's really more like an instrumental rock or R&B show. And the "jazz" is tightly orchestrated (except for a few acts), with the improvisation orderly and melodic. And almost every tune played has a major back-beat, danceable and rhythmic.
One of the other things that makes these shows so enjoyable is the professionalism of the back-up bands. LA's best studio musicians (and often stars in their own right) have to learn up to 300 songs for this cruise. All the musicians spend a week in LA before the cruise rehersing. There are typically two players for each instrument, and they take turns doing the various shows that often run until 1 am. But one artist who plays virtually every big show is percussionist Ramon Yslas. His amazing talents on the congo drums, bongos, chimes, etc adds a marvelous dimension to every song. Having a great drummer AND a percussionists makes these performances very special. In addition, the stage crew and mixers do a flawless job. The sound is so clean and dynamic in the controlled environment of the Vista Lounge that it makes outdoor concerts pale in comparison.
After Jeff, Boney James, age 49, came on stage and did a hour and fifteen minute set with such ease and ability, showing why he is perhaps our favorite sax player... right up there with Dave Koz. He did at least a dozen great songs, spanning his whole catalog of hits.
Playing bass on stage tonight was the handsome Andre Berry again. The woman sitting next to me remarked that Andre went to the same church see attends in Los Angeles. I repeated this news to Ronna, and during one of Andre's terrific bass solos, flexing his muscular arms and physique, Ronna quipped, "What was that church again?"
It was another super night of music, and we returned to our suite to wait for our 9:30 dinner reservation time at Pinnacle Grill, the separate small steak house that is a cut above the normal cuisine on board. While waiting, I went thru my songs I brought along on our laptop, playing more Boney James tunes, and realizing that he had more than 40 songs that were memorable and special.
Dinner was excellent (we ate way too much--shrimp cocktail, lobster macaroni and cheese, filet/porterhouse, creamed spinach and vanilla souffle!)
We went to bed at a decent hour, only to be awakened at 5 am by the captain, making an emergency announcement that blasted into our room asking that someone named "Joy Lynn Meyer" report to the captain's office. We have never had anything like that happen before. Woman overboard? A victim of foul play? Asleep somewhere passed out drunk? We probably will never know. I'm assuming they found her, because there don't appear to be police or authorities aboard investigating something like this. Pretty weird, though!
Next... Tortola, which looks exactly like St. Thomas from where we are docked! Oh well, it's the music, not the ports!
THURSDAY, JAN. 27, 2011 - Tortola Who?
As I mentioned on Facebook, they found Joy Lynn Meyer, the 5 a.m. missing passenger. The captain was announcing our plans for the day and at the end he added that she was found, but not before he had actually turned the ship around heading back toward St. Thomas to look for her in the ocean! That was certainly a first for us on a cruise!
We had breakfast in our room and got dressed to check out Tortola, an island that's part of the British Virgin Islands. It's only about 100 miles from St. Thomas, so I'm sure the captain had plenty of time to look for Joy Lynn and still make it to Tortola with time to spare! It was very humid and 80 degrees, and felt much warmer in the Caribbean sun. We stopped in a few shops that seem to be represented on EVERY Caribbean island... Little Switzerland, Diamonds International, etc. We didn't find much of interest on Tortola. We're not big on beach activities, so we looked for a place for lunch. Not finding much, we actually returned to the ship for the air-conditioned comfort of the main dining room on board.
After lunch we went to a very funny interview between the cruise's on-board resident comedian, Alonzo Bodden and co-host, musician-extraordinaire Marcus Miller. It was actually Marcus interviewing Alonzo, and it was predictably hilarious. Bodden has been on probably five or six of these smooth jazz cruises, and he does several stand-up comedy shows during the trip. He won Season 3 of NBC’s "Last Comic Standing," and he is both great at ad libs and prepared sets. Unfortunately, most of his shows start at 11 pm, the same time there is typically a good musician doing a show elsewhere on the ship. So this was our first chance to see Alonzo. Very funny, and Marcus was equally engaging.
The main headliner show tonight at 6 pm was called "This Is My Jazz," and it featured one song by all the individual star musicians on the ship. It was quite good, with some artists doing songs that molded their early jazz influences, while others simply did their biggest hit. Guitarist Nick Colionne, who does not have a big-room gig, stole the show when he walked out in a bright yellow "pimp-style" suit with matching hat and shoes! He also brought the house down with a great rockin' version of his most well-known hit "It's Been Too Long."
Artist after artist did their one song, culminating with Rick Braun and finally Marcus Miller. He again proved to be "Best of Ship" with his amazing stylish jazz bass playing. He did the Beatles, "Come Together," and with so many stars doing improvised solos during the song, near the end, Marcus returned to center stage and said, "Wait a minute. I forgot what song we were doing!"
We had a nice dinner in the main dining room, and killed some time before returning to the big Vista Showroom for Alonzo Bodden's "Roast" of surfer-dude guitarist, Jeff Golub. We're glad we fought our way back into the auditorium and found seats. The people who see the second musical show of the night and do early dinner have an unfair advantage as their show typically runs from 9 to 11, and the comedy or late-night shows begin at 11 or 11:30 pm. So they can just stay in their seats for the comedy performances and we have to muscle our way into the room and jump into seats that people might be vacating!
Alonzo opened the roast with some hilarious lines, then turned it over to Jeff's fellow musicians, et al, for more irreverent roasting. Rick Braun, Philippe Saisse, Candy Dulfer, DJ Pat Prescott, Richard Elliot and cruise organizer Michael Lazaroff did a very creditable job of making jokes about Jeff's rock music background, his drinking, his drinking and his drinking! Dutch hottie Candy Dulfer stole the show with the absolute best jokes, opening with the line, "First off... Jeff please stop calling my room!" Or, "I saw him late last night with a bottle of tequila, licking the deck trying to get salt! Then he grabbed Nick Colionne in the yellow suit and squeezed him thinking he was a lemon!"
Our cruise is the second week in a row of identical itinerary and artists, so all these people had done the same roast last week. But this time, we learned they had done more homework, and had come up with much better roasting lines. It was like last week's cruise was a "rehearsal" for ours. We got the best performances!
Fun day... fun night!
FRIDAY, JAN. 28, 2011 - The Home Stretch
We're on our way back to Eastern Time with a day at sea and one more island to visit before our cruise is completed. Today we had another in-room leisurely breakfast, and later in the day attended a “Behind the Scenes” talk from the head of Smooth Jazz Cruises, Michael Lazaroff. It was interesting to hear how they book the artists, choose the routes, and all the logistics involved. For example, they always have to go to an island that has a good airport (like St. Thomas, San Juan, etc.) so "special guest" artists can fly in and perform, and leave the same night. Also we learned that a lot of the artists have multi-year contracts, and that's why they are on the bill so often.
Tonight's main-room bill was our least anticipated... Gerald Albright and Jonathan Butler. First I need to get to my Pet Peave No. 2354: I hate it when performers near the beginning of their act, say "Come on... y'all... get up and clap your hands! Everybody up!" It's a cheap way to try to "involve" the audience. My answer is, "Play something really good that moves me, and I'll stand up, dance, clap and cheer like crazy!" But I don't stand up on cue. Anyway, both Albright and Butler were guilty of this silly manipulation of the audience. Albright's set was OK, but typically appears on stage alone with the house band (except for his daughter, Selina, who sings back-up), and rarely has any visiting players come on stage to add power. I think he likes being the center of attention, and it shows.
Jonathan Butler's set was marred by too much phony emotionalism. He spent 10 minutes serenading his wife, and although it was nice for their 28th anniversary, it went on way too long and slowed everything down to a crawl. In general, he played too many ballads and not enough up-tempo numbers. This was interesting, because Lazaroff, at his afternoon seminar, said he looks for artists who engage the audience and get them moving and involved with "beat-driven" sets. Apparently Butler didn't get the memo, or has enough longevity on these cruises to be an exception to this rule. We left early and planned for some more shows after our dinner in the Vista Dining Room.
We stopped by the Queen's Lounge to see one of our favorites, keyboard star and music director of the cruise, Brian Simpson, begin his set of tunes. The problem we had was that Brian started at 11 and Alonzo Bodden's final comedy show began at 11:30 pm. That's a pretty common problem on these cruises... quite often you can't see everything you'd like to see! But it was worth leaving Brian early for Alonzo, age 48, because he did an amazing hour of side-splitting comedy, calling out all the jazz stars that were sitting in the front row, and insulting them beautifully! He did about 40 minutes of ad-lib improv before he even went to his scripted "act." He's got to be one of the most under-rated comedians around... he really deserves some bigger breaks and audiences, although he sometimes appears on Jay Leno and has hosted a few failed cable reality shows, like "America's Worst Driver."
We called it a night at about 1 am.
SATURDAY, JAN. 29, 2011 - Final Cruise Day
Today's exciting destination is Half Moon Cay, a man-made island owned by Holland America Lines that lets people frolic in the sand and sun, eat bad barbeque, and get drunk on a island in the middle of nowhere. We're passing on this stop.
In prior years, like when Ronna's sister and her husband were on the cruise with us, we rented an enclosed cabana on the beach, with deck chairs, refreshments, towels, etc... which was fun. But we've been to Half Moon Cay four times in the past, and the passion for getting sand in various parts of your crevices has diminished for us. So we're enjoying the ship today, looking forward to the final big concert of the cruise, Candy Dulfer and host Marcus Miller.
Marcus has joined almost every artist's shows this past week, playing along with the other all-stars on keyboards, percussion, bass and more. Alonzo Bodden joked last night that sax player Richard Elliot pulled out his bagpipes at one point, and that was the only instrument that Marcus Miller couldn't play! In prior years, we've seen Marcus even pull out a huge bass clarinet that he rocks out with. Should be a great show!
Now... time to finish my James Patterson novel and the most fun part of the trip--packing and having your suitcases out in the hall! Yuck!
Last Concert Comments
Candy and Marcus certainly did not disappoint! Our 6 pm cruise finale was worth the wait! Candy Dulfer, age 41, looked fabulous and played better. She’s backed on keyboard by a cool big dude name Chance Howard, who played with many groups including The Time and Prince. (Candy played with Prince when she was much younger, too. That must have made for some exciting after show evenings!)
She did a fine set, topping off the show with “Pickin’ Up the Pieces,” with tons of other stars helping her on stage. Big, hot finish and a fabulous second-to-the-last show!
Marcus Miller, age 51, did a very interesting set next. He talked about his early days in New York, playing as an 18-year old prodigy studio musician. He said his typical day would be 10 am—a McDonald’s commercial; 11:30 am—a State Farm radio spot; 2 pm—Roberta Flack session; 4 pm—Elton John session, etc. Marcus has played on well over 500 albums, including those by Herbie Hancock, Mariah Carey, Frank Sinatra, Dr. John, Aretha Franklin, Grover Washington Jr., Donald Fagen, Bill Withers, Chaka Khan, LL Cool J and more. He then spoke about finally meeting Miles Davis and he played with him until Miles passed away. He also played extensively with Luther Vandross, Grover Washington Jr., Carly Simon, McCoy Tyner, Bryan Ferry and Billy Idol. He’s one numerous Grammy’s and yet he's this super nice, unassuming dude who is so friendly and funny with everyone!
He closed out his set with an astonishing version of “Amazing Grace,” pulling out his huge bass clarinet and doing both bass and melody parts on it. Nearly a dozen other stars joined Marcus for this big finale.
It was a great way to end a very fun cruise! You should try it!
